(270): It took too long for people to come up with things for “never have I ever” so we had to change it to “don’t judge me but…”
Submission by fried-mango-slushies
User submitted photo
(202): I’ve got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
(202): That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It’s science and statistics.
(631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE!?
Submission by anonymous
Punking up the ponies!
I really, really love these.
yah, I’m so totally Rarity. And it makes my heart smiles, because they aren’t all just light skinned… :)
(702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I’m an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills, and the fact that children love me.
(1-702): True on all accounts.
(518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
(617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman’s vagina. The entire time I was thinking “this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes.”
(412): He calls it “his noble steed” and i plan to ride it.
(412): Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.