(206): look, if 10am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Submission by aboyscoutandabrownie
212: She’s cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix Disney princess.
Submission by meshtonurbs
(303): Welcome to the first annual slutathon, and may the men be ever in our favor.
Submission by aboyscoutandabrownie
(202): I’ve got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
(202): That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It’s science and statistics.
(248): Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. No regrets
Submission by aboyscoutandabrownie
(631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE!?
Submission by anonymous
Punking up the ponies!
Rainbow Dash | Rarity | Twilight Sparkle
Fluttershy | Applejack | Pinkie Pie by fusspot
I really, really love these.
PINKIE PIE
yah, I’m so totally Rarity. And it makes my heart smiles, because they aren’t all just light skinned… :)
(210):
I just took a dump to end all dumps.
Other dumps have already written ballads about it.
Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
[Published the wrong draft - PonyPixels]
(Source: tsundere-images)
(702): I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I’m an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills, and the fact that children love me.
(1-702): True on all accounts.
(518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
(617): I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman’s vagina. The entire time I was thinking “this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes.”